In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out." -- Steven Wright
Home late, dog's having more seizures, tons to do and a debate that starts in a few hours. So here's something I threw together the other day (actually I stole it).
Ways to Annoy People on the Beach
If you see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Ways To Annnoy Your Roommate
Become a mime. Nothing is more annoying than a mime.
Ways To Annoy People On The Subway
Tell other people your problems. They really want to know.
How To Annoy People On An Airplane
Call the stewardess "nurse".
Ways To Annoy A Cop
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Annoying Things To Do In A Discount Superstore
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Annoying Things To Say To Other People
I've just been treated for tapeworms.
Ways to Annoy Usenet (internet newsgroup) Users
Post a message asking how to post messages.
Annoying Things To Do At A Drive Through Window
Specify that this order is "To Go".
Annoying Things to Do at the Bowling Alley
Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
How to Annoy A Blind Date
Repeat every third third word you say say.
Ways To Annoy People At The Movies
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
How To Annoy Your Waiter
After he describes each special, you shout, "Stinks!"
Ways to Annoy a Yankee (Northerner)
Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
How To Annoy Your Driver
Point to the right and tell the driver to make a left.
Annoying Things To Do In A Swimming Pool
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.