Biomes Blog

Entry #748

A while back, during one of my complaints about “Biomes I”, the mini-van from Hell, (I’ll say it again, never, ever buy a Pontiac) I promised to bore you with my NYC story. 

On October 7, 2001 my ex-college roommate Eric got married in Hoboken New Jersey.  I drove the van down to attend the wedding that Sunday morning.  I planned to return to Rhode Island late that night but at the last minute decided to spend the night in the hotel the reception was held at and drive back the next day.  What else happened on October 7th?  We began our invasion of Afghanistan.  New York City was in sort of a lockdown police state out of fear of reprisals. 

So, I’m heading back to New England Monday morning and fighting the traffic on I-95.  Halfway over the George Washington Bridge I blow a head gasket.  My van starts overheating and as I try to pull over I’ve got National Guardsmen, with guns, telling me “don’t you dare stop that car.  Keep moving”.  White van with darkened windows, driver with a beard and looking really hung over and tired.  Keep it moving.  If the van just died right there, what were they going to do? Shoot me?

After the bridge you go through a series of tunnels, which are really not tunnels but roads running beneath buildings.  I stop and ask a state trooper if I can pull over because my car is overheating (steam is rising from the hood, so it’s not just a bunch of bull).  Keep moving, he said.  Somehow the van keeps going and once I was clear of the bridge and tunnels, what do you know?  I-95 is under repair, down to one lane.  No way I can stop now.  So I keep going and take the first exit I find.  Rollling down the exit in neutral, I find a tiny little auto repair shop.  I pull in, and the old man who owns the place pulls the car into his one bay.  “Can you fix it?” I ask.  “I can fix anything” he says.  Whew.  “But it’ll take about three weeks.” Doh!

Triple A wanted $500 to tow me home, so for three hundred bucks the old man loads my van onto his flatbed and drives me all the way to Rhode Island and drops it off at my mechanic.  I pay him, tip him and buy him breakfast.  The van is shot.  But with three more years of payments to make I really have no choice but to fix it.  New engine, new transmission and a month of car rentals total seven thousand dollars.  If I had broken down any time or any place else I could have pulled over, saved the engine and been towed home and repaired for less than a grand. 

Four years later, the van is back at the garage.  I have my new Prius and I’m trying to just fix up the old car enough to sell it and maybe make enough to pay the mechanic for the latest round of repairs.  Like I said, never buy a Pontiac. And never attend a wedding the day we start a war.  Bin Laden owes me seven grand.  Think I’ll collect?

Entry #747

Trying out the new digital camera my mom got me for xmas, here's the first picture taken.  Ngazi the Ridgeback with Graham the Boy.

Buy your Nutty Squirrel Nutcracker here.

Juan Cole’s top ten myths of the Iraq War.  (Via Talkleft.)

Nice post, Stranger.

Welcome to Sprawl Busters.  Your quality of life is worth more than a cheap pair of underwear.

Play! Tangram.  This is tough.  I got the first one in 82 seconds.  They just keep getting harder from there.

iPod Shuffle:

1. Trudy (Charlie Daniel's Band)
2. The Fuse (Jackson Browne)
3. Bosque County Romance (Lyle Lovett)
4. Election Day (Lyle Lovett)
5. Blowin' In The Wind (Bob Dylan)
6. Hard Times In New York Town (Bob Dylan)
7. Searchin' For A Rainbow (Marshall Tucker Band)
8. Storm Front (Billy Joel)
9. Pretending (Eric Clapton)
10. The Tide Will Rise (Bruce Hornsby)

Entry #746

"I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up.  They have no holidays" --Henny Youngman

Pet Corner: Litter Robot, the self-cleaning litter box.

Listen to and watch this homemade music video performed and written by a returning Marine vet.  Bushwacked.

The proposed Grand Canyon skywalk would freak me out a bit.  I don’t like heights.

Today’s slide show is a series of transparent computer screens.

The periodic table of candy.

  Meet “Ripley”, the blogging cat.

Via Maru, seriously, how stupid do you have to be to still believe anything that comes out of this moron’s mouth?

I’ve noticed the images on my monitor seem to be fading lately.  I mentioned this to The Boy and he pointed me to this program called “ScreenCleaner Pro”.  It takes seconds to download and then this rag appears and “cleans” the screen.  Try it out, it’s amazing.

I'm glad Santa got to my house before he had this accident:

Entry #745

Animal of the Week: Praying Mantis.  See a bunch of photos at Mantisland.  You can buy your own exotic pet mantid here, or an egg case for pest control at this site.  Mantids are predators on all types of garden pests and are easily raised, just be sure you purchase a species that is native to your area. This isn't a problem here in New England, where we only have one species, but in warmer areas exotics could survive the winter and become introduced species.  The young are cannabalistic, so the eggs should not be hatched in a cage or terrarium.  You'll end up with only one big, fat insect.  I learned this the hard way when I was a kid.  The egg cases look like this.  There are a lot of myths surrounding this insect, especially the one that states that the female always bites the head off the male during mating.  Here's a good mantis myth debunking site.

Stuff You Should Know: Logical fallacies and how to spot them.

You just have to see Hawkeye, the scuba diving cat. (3.6 mb)

Now we’re cookin’: Liquid cereal.

Here’s a really cool collection of old Sea Monster art.

Morford: Long Needles For Large Butts.

Entry #744

So, is my boy awesome or what?  He got me my very own iTrip for Xmas.  The poor kid was sick as a dog the day after, so I babied him like he was five. 

Good Lord, the wingnuts have been right all along.  I’m officially a hard right Republican.  “Activist Judge Cancels Christmas” (via Kos).

Gore’s speech on global warming: “Only a total moron would dispute the facts found by every credible climatologist in the world.”  Well, he didn’t actually say that, but it’s really the main point here.  Bush cares about it too, obviously.

The good guys win one in Dover, PA.

Here’s a bedside nightstand for the paranoid of the house.

  The Incredible Hulk’s blog.

Search Results: Someone found the Biomes Blog by AOLing “Pork brains”.  It brought them here.

Raiders of the Lost Ark in 260K.

Cenk Uygur: It is not acceptable to be a Republican anymore.  I couldn’t agree more.

Movie Rating: No Direction Home. 
This Dylan doc, produced by Martin Scorsese, will be most appreciated by hard core Dylan fans.  It covers mainly his start in music, from ‘59 to his motorcycle crash in February of 1966.  If you own any of his bootleg series (especially the concert at Prince Albert Hall), a lot of the music will be familiar.  If you don’t, and you like his stuff, it will be very enlightening.  For the record, I own 67 Dylan CD’s.  I’ve watched the entire two disc collection twice in past three days, it is a wonderful tribute to a musical genius.  4.7 starfish out of 5.

Entry #743

Ouch, Shayera hits me right back with “The Four Meme”.

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:
I’ve been self-employed since I started my business at 14. Which means I’ve only had one job in the past 27 years.  Man, I flunked the first question.

Four movies you could watch over and over:
This is Spinal Tap
Best in Show
Run, Lola, Run
Amelie

Four places you’ve lived:
Rhode Island.  That’s it. I failed another question.

Four TV shows you love to watch:
I haven’t had a TV hookup for 11 years.  Another failed question.  This is just awful.

Four places you’ve been on vacation:
As an adult I’ve never taken one.  This just keeps getting worse.

Four websites you visit daily:
Yes! I can answer this one.
Daily Kos
Atrios
Bartcop
Doonesbury

Four of your favorite foods:
Prime rib
Garlic mashed potatoes
Chinese dumplings
Anything with alfredo sauce

I pass this meme off to Maru.

DarkSyde: The one that got away.  Great stuff, as usual.

Albino Monday: Half-Albino Cardinal.  I've seen lobsters half one color and half another (they're known as "splitbacks"), but never a bird.

Entry #742

Merry xmas everyone.  Hope you all have a great one.

Too bad this isn't available anymore from Amazon.  I was going to pick up a set for the boy at the bargain basement price of only $2499.99 for the 212 DVD package.  Oh well, sorry kid.

Whippet.  Whippet good.

Stuff You Should Know:  The history of the Christmas Tree.

Play! Mah Jong Christmas.

Timewaster of the Week: Sober Santa.

I’m hoping Santa brings me one of these octopus tables.

The Christmas Puppy: Why you shouldn’t get one. (via Fanatic Cook.)

I don’t do the whole Christmas Tree thing.  Too much bother.  But the festivus pole is definitely an option.

Watch a trailer for Susan Sarandon's new movie, Noel.

Monsignor's cat trimming the dog.

The natural history of mistletoe (via girl scientist, a wonderful blog just added to my roll).

How to keep your dog safe during the holidays.

  A very Biomes Christmas.  How things went down last year.

Happy holidays, y'all.  And be nice to your pets.

Entry #741

Damn it, I got tagged for one those blogging memes.  This one is called “The Seven Meme”.  Thank's a lot Wayne.  (By the way, when bloggers pretend to be all annoyed with being picked for a blog meme, like it's some big chore or something, don't buy it.  They're actually thrilled to be thought of by other on-line hacks.  We eat this stuff up.)

Seven things to do before I die:
  Tell the priest to leave the room
  One last shot of morphine
  Ask the doctor for a second opinion
  Call my creditors and laugh at them 
  Hug my son (sorry for the debt, kid)
  Make sure my dog is looked after
  This does mean just before I die, right?

Seven things I cannot do:
  Change my oil
  Or my tire
  Paint
  Drink and drive
  Keep houseplants alive
  Say “I love you”, unless I mean it
  Beat The Boy at Battleship

Seven reasons why I blog:
  Because it’s there
  To waste other people’s time
  Insomnia
  Beats working, although it pays less (as in zero)
  Bash Bush
  Bash Bush
  Bash Cheney

Seven things I say most often:
  Damn dog
  My fence fell down in that storm we had the other day
  Would you like fries with that?
  Pet it gently (talking about my sharks....perv)
  Have I told you this story before?
  There is no god, what’s wrong with you?
  Ok, see.....

Seven books I love:
  Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
  Galapagos (Kurt Vonnegut)
  Cat’s Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut)
  The World According To Garp (John Irving)
  Jitterbug Purfume (Tom Robbins)
  Fishes of the Gulf of Maine (Bigelow and Schroeder)
  The Frugal Gourmet (Jeff Smith)

Seven movies that I watch over and over again:
  Seven (ha. but it's true)
  Run, Lola, Run
  The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
  Amelie
  A Christmas Story
  Best in Show
  Star Wars

Seven victims who I pick to continue this meme:
  Jim D
  Shayera
  Fanatic Cook
  Debra
  Scorpio
  Ginger
  Haverchuk
  The Boy (yeah, that’s eight.  But he’ll just ignore it.)

Entry #740

Decorate your very own Fitzmas Tree.

Since I had some time on my hands (I don’t sleep much) I spent a few hours perusing that pathetic personals site I linked to the other day.  Very, very funny stuff.

2-0-5, the latest from the JibJab boys.

Morford: Xmas cards from famous people.

Play! Ten Pin Bowling.

Here’s an educational model of rat guts you can buy.

December’s Eyesore of the Month takes a positive turn (temporarily) for a change.  I forgot to post November’s last month.

Trivia hint from yesterday: Although she had nothing to do with the quote, one of the actors in the film was Parker Posey.

iPod Shuffle:

1. Layla (Eric Clapton, live)
2. Handle With Care (Traveling Wilburys)
3. Romance In Durango (Bob Dylan, live)
4. Timber I'm Falling In Love (Patty Loveless)
5. Caballo Diablo (Charlie Daniel's Band, prior to his descent into wingnutville)
6. Spirit In The Night (Bruce Springsteen)
7. Rocky Mountain Way (Joe Walsh)
8. Home By Another Way (James Taylor)
9. Love Field (Elvis Costello)
10. I'm Down To My Last Cigarette (k.d. lang)

In James Taylor’s song “Home By Another Way” (#8), from the album “Never Die Young”, he uses the phrase “lead-pipe cinch”, and it has always bugged me what this means.  I finally got around to looking into it.  It still makes no sense.

Entry #739

"The devil can disguise himself in many forms...if there is life on other planets it is demonic...there is no question that there are demons in outer space".  --Insane nutjob Pat Robertson on the 700 club.

Pet Corner: Gregg Miller, the inventor of Neuticles, won this year’s IgNoble Award for Medicine.

You see, this is how you go about creating energy independence in this country.  It’s a small step, but at least it’s in the right direction.

Read this post by Riverbend.

I’ve added the Dilbert Blog to the blogroll.  Mr. Adams isn’t just a great cartoonist, he’s also a hell of a blogger.  Check it out.

Would you like to see Mr. Nice dance?

Trivia (8 Biomes Points, 4 for the movie and 4 for the character): “You come dressed like that in my neighborhood, you better be a hotel doorman”.

Entry #738

Animal of the Week: Baikal Teal.
Although they do not breed in the U.S. they can be found in Alaska and parts of the northern Pacific mainland.  These teals seem to be recovering from overhunting during the 1940’s, when their numbers were reduced to about 40,000 individuals.  The photo on the right is a flock of them migrating over South Korea.  Read more.

Buy your candles with built-in storage box for matches here.

Stuff You Should Know: How to get rid of the hiccups.

Read Carl Zimmer’s essay “The Mosquito and the Bottle”.  I love posts like this.

Corporate memo from Santa. Or you can read the same thing here, but this version made me dizzy.

Forget to mention, not even 24 hours after picking up my new prius, some clown had already stolen my magnetic business signs.

Entry #737

Email from John Kerry:

“Dear Mark,
If you ever needed a reminder of how broken Washington has become under one-party rule, we're getting it loud and clear in the closing hours of this session of Congress. Instead of sending a unified and unanimous signal to our troops on the front lines, Republicans are instead scheming to make a giveaway to the big oil companies...” blah, blah, blah, on and on and on.

Dear John,
Maybe if you had gotten off your windsurfer and snowboard long enough to defend yourself from those swiftboating lying pieces of crap and attacked this administration as the corrupt, odious and incompetent bunch of bastards that they are, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now, would we?
Oh, and I want my $800 back.
Mark H

Christmas gift suggestion: A briefcase full of meat.

[Update: Apologies for the short post.  I've taken a few days off work, mainly to catch up on some reading and relax a bit.  But scandal after scandal after scandal and still nearly 40% of the idiots in this country approve of this criminal's job as president.  My outrage meter has broken and I need a little break.]

Entry #736

Dept. of Educashun: The Ultimate Ungulate Page.

What the hell is Laura on?

Movie Rating: Life as a House.
I thought Hayden Christensen’s horrible acting in the last two Star Wars movies was the result of George Lucas’ poor writing skills.  This movie proves me wrong.  He plainly sucks as an actor.  Kevin Kline is great, as usual, and the flick overall was pretty good.  3.2 starfish out of 5.

Read another home run essay by DarkSyde, Three Ladies and The Man Who Would be King.  This man's writing skills are nothing short of stunning.

A little piece of Dylan: Forever Young (live, 1979).

The hungry vegan.  Stuff yourself like an omnivore.

Albino Monday: Bank Swallow.

Entry #735

This week's water tower can be found in Atlantic City, NJ.

We won our local Ri-Ra pub trivia contest, so we'll be traveling to Atlantic City to play against the winners of all the other U.S. Ri-Ra pubs in January.  The winning team gets a trip to Europe. While abroad we'll be wearing this t-shirt.

  The single man’s guide to TV dinners.

Stuff You Should Know: JFK’s famous non-gaff “Ich bin ein Berliner", does not translate to “I am a jelly doughnut”.

Check out some pathetic personal ads here.

Today’s slide show is a collection of the world’s most fattening holiday foods.

Buy your treadmill bike here.

Capture the breath of a loved one or friend and keep them close. Forever.

Stupid hairstyles that resemble superheroes.

Entry #734

Today is the second birthday of the Biomes Blog.  Here's my first post.

Play! Mah Jong Christmas.  For the past year this game has been my late night insomnia fix.

My cousin Steve, and his son Kurt, are traveling to Costa Rica this week to do some work for an organization called Global Volunteers.  Kudos to you two, you do our family proud.

Ebert reviews the new “King Kong” movie. The Boy and I will be checking out the big ape tomorrow. Watch the trailer.

How a snail crosses a “bridge”.

Visit iiiiiii.com.

Larisa smacks down Bill O’Reilly. 

African grey parrots are certainly very intelligent birds and it’s pretty well known that they even understand much of what they say, but they are not telepathic.  Sheesh.