Entry #3303: Creole Has Gone to a Better Place

I’ve finally accepted that I’m no longer the right person for her. She was adopted Saturday by a really nice family with no small children. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

My first dog died in my arms. My second was put down after a wonderful life (for both of us) at the age of 14. And a third after a horrific five years of severe epilepsy. For all three of those dogs I did everything I could have possibly done to keep them healthy and happy. With Creole I feel like I didn’t do enough.

After her bout with pancreatitis last year she developed an intense fear of small children. I spend seven days a week surrounded by small children and it doesn’t make for a good situation. She loves adults, and everyone who meets her loves her back. She really is the sweetest dog I’ve had.  But the fear she has of little kids has turned into aggression. My vet is convinced that the pain of the pancreatitis, and her associating that with children, was the spark.

We spent all Friday night playing, went for a long walk at midnight, and then two hours of her favorite activity; lying on the rug getting her stomach rubbed. She’ll have a great home, and it’s the best for both of us, but she has no idea that she’ll never see me again. I feel like I’ve let my best friend down.

Comments

[Jim Laurel]

Mark,
My sympathy. But you didn't let Creole down...you may well have saved her. If she had hurt someone her fate may have no longer been in your control. At least this way she will have a good home and love.

[Ohio Mom]

So sorry. Hope there will be some comfort in knowing you did everything you could, including finding her a loving home. Please take good care of yourself in this period of grief.

[Karen]

I am so sorry. I think she will probably adjust to her new home well. I'm sorry you are left with the absence and guilt feeling. You shouldn't feel guilt though - you did what was absolutely best for her. Small children are a big part of your life with the center, she couldn't fit there.

[Mark P]

I am sorry, too. I had really hoped Creole could get over her problems. But, as you already know, sometimes the best thing to do is the hardest thing to do. And, as you already know, if her new owners love her, she will be fine. You are the one who will feel the hurt and pay the price.

[mustang sally]

I wish we could explain to dogs why certain things turn out the way they do & why it may be for the best. But we can't. Creole is lucky to have found you. You were always in her corner & did right by her. She will settle into her new home & find happiness. And you will have good memories of her always. You did the right thing - take comfort in that.

[Pablo]

You know you did far more than most people would have done, and it's not like you're leaving her on some street corner.

I can remember the night before we had to put down one of our dogs. I spent most of the evening scratching her stomach too.

[Derryl Murphy]

That's a tough but humane call you had to make, Mark. She'll live a good life now, thanks to you.

[Scott]

She had a great home with you, and you've made sure she'll have another great home. I feel for you, but it seems to me you're making sure she's all right, not letting her down.

[Terry]

A great solution to a difficult problem.